So much to type, so little time

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. Today was one of those days where I just want to type *(#)(*)@(!$&)##*#*#! and leave it at that. Lily has been sick and it's like living with the devil. I can only pray she'll be better by tomorrow so that I can end the week with my sanity intact.

Ian was supposed to spend most of the week with his grandma but she ended up getting a really bad cold thus he is home. He's been pretty bummed about it and I feel bad for him because I know he was eagerly anticipating spending special time with her.

I've been having a terrible time sleeping for the past two weeks and the only thing I can attribute it to (other than the sick toddler issue) is that I haven't been walking at all. The rain got so bad and then I didn't want to because I hate the treadmill...yadda, yadda, yadda. I started doing my yoga again, which is good for me, but not as good as a serious aerobic workout.

Christmas went off without a hitch and we had a nice visit with J's brother. He and J went running together. J had borrowed his dad's shoes and he's been limping since. He went into the Dr. today and it looks like some kind of strain/sprain issue so no running for him for the next three weeks.

I am so glad it is bedtime.

Santa came today!

J got me a cell phone and a digital camera today! I can't wait to use them.

Almost Christmas

*5* days left. How did that happen?

Ian is still sick. He managed to get through school but his ear was killing him by early afternoon. His teacher tried to call me and, ironically, she missed me at home and called while I was SITTING IN THE CAR IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT. Lily and I had been out with mom in the morning and we headed over to the school early so she could have a nap before I picked Ian up. You can imagine the annoyance factor there. Thus, I am getting a phone for Christmas. I *might* get a camera one since we were thinking of upgrading ours anyway.

I ended up not getting home until 7 p.m. last night. I called the pediatric urgent care and they wanted to see Ian right away to check his ear. I picked J up from work and dropped he and Lily back at home and Ian and I rushed down to the doctor's and waited for an hour and fifteen minutes before he was able to be seen. Thankfully, I had thought to grab a book for us and we plowed through almost half of Dr. Doolittle. Diagnosis: Ear Infection. Oh surprise! So, then we had to drive back to Costco to the pharmacy where the were out of half the medicine he needed thus necessitating a return trip today when Lily wakes up from her nap. Ian cried this morning about missing school. I think he'll be able to make it through the party and mass tomorrow since he's only got a half day and then Christmas vacation starts.

Where *does* the time go?

I was thinking this morning while I was driving to WInco. It occurred to me that I have no free time anymore. Speaking as a mother, I think this happens without your realization until it's too late. I got J an iPod for his birthday and I was thinking that maybe I'd like to have one for Christmas. Then, it became apparent to me that I don't have any time to listen to it. Seriously. During the day, I have at least Lily with me at all times and when Ian is out of school, he's with me too. Supervising them both pretty much requires my full attention. At night, J doesn't care if I have the music on so it would be pointless to hide behind earphones. Thus, no time, which is a good thing. It saves a lot of money.

Making Muffins

I couldn't stand it anymore so when I got home from the grocery shopping and Costco run, I devised a recipe for Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins. They're baking at the moment and the house smells fantastic. I'll post the recipe later if it's a success.

Poor little sickie

Ian woke up with a fever and dry heaves this morning. He's currently wilted on the sofa and staring at Thomas the Tank Engine and his "snowy surprise" on the TV. This doesn't bode well for the weekend.

The cookies were gross

So, I couldn't stand it anymore and I made chocolate chip cookies last night. They were actually gross. I bought a different brand of chips because Costco was out of the Ambrosia ones that we love the last time I was there and the new ones were awful when they came out of the oven. I guess the chocolate is all you can taste when they're warm and fresh and they were just yucky. This morning, after they were completely cooled, they were ok. Not the best cookies, but not the worst tasting like they were last night. J took them to work. He informed me earlier that they were already gone.

Ian is home sick today. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I'm really relieved because now he can't participate in the Christmas pageant that we were supposed to attend tonight. It doesn't start until 7 p.m. which is bedtime around here and we didn't have any child care for Lily so we would have had to drag her along too and I was dreading the inevitable meltdowns on both of their parts because of being overtired. But, I feel bad because aren't mothers supposed to be overjoyed to go and watch their kids sing off key on the school stage?

He looked really sick this morning and was complaining that he was going to throw up and he went and sat in the bathroom for a while "just in case". So, the kids laid on the sofa and watched a movie while I cleaned and did laundry (how is it that laundry becomes infinite after you give birth?) and then we read Christmas stories for a while until they started fighting and I banished them to their beds. I relented and went in and read to them some more and now they are (I assume because it's quiet) napping for a bit. He was acting like he was feeling better before nap time (how bad can he feel if he's fighting with Lily?) so we'll see how he is when they get up.

But this has messed up my routine a bit and now I don't know if he'll be home or at school tomorrow which means I'll have to grocery shop on Saturday instead of on Friday and I need to get to Costco to pick up the meds that I've been pretending I don't need. Argh. And I also still have to go to the Folsom Costco because they don't carry the milk that J likes at the one around the corner and he's all out. I guess life never slows down once you become a mother.

Superstitious

Health problems can make you nuts. Really. Take me, for example. I have this migraine problem and when I had my last attack, I ran out of my abortive pills. I took the prescription into Costco but I haven't picked it up. Why not, you ask? Well, you see, I'm operating under the theory that as long as that medication isn't here, I'm not going to GET another headache. That logic works, doesn't it? Doesn't it?

The cookies made me do it

I'm revising my birthday goal. I think I need to focus on maintaining at this point. I don't know if can actually lose anything right now. I love cookies. I mean it. As in, I must eat the entire box until all the cookies are gone because they taste so good. That kind of cookie love. And they are EVERYWHERE right now. Thus far, I have managed to avoid making any for any reason. I bought a FOAM gingerbread house kit for Ian to decorate and a prebaked gingerbread cookie Christmas tree kit (how good can that taste?). I can do this. I even stocked up on light ice cream since it satisfies the craving fairly well and is MUCH better for me AFA do less harm to my waistline is concerned.

I did walk today. 3ish miles with miss nibs post nap. Good for me.

The cookies are still calling my name but I CAN'T HEAR THEM!!!

Yay, me!

Not only did I do the treadmill last night, I just got back from a 3 mile walk with the little miss.

Peaceful so far

So far, it's been a quiet day. I cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the rug, finished the laundry and cleaned the kids' room. And it's only 9 a.m. I still need to wrap the Christmas presents, pick up the last few, run over to the jeweler to get my rings fixed and stop by Costco. I think I want to wait until the little miss has had her nap, though.

The good news is that the last headache lasted only a day. That's a big improvement. And I'll take what I can get. I got back on the treadmill yesterday but I'm hoping that today will warm up enough that Lily and I can walk outside before we pick Ian up from school.

We had a nice weekend. We took the kids up to J's parents on Saturday and surprised them. Then we went over to J's grandparent's on Sunday to bring them a Christmas tree and decorated it. I made a leg of lamb and we had a nice family dinner with most of the extended family.

Yesterday was dentist day. I now have my permanent crown on the one that had the temporary and a temporary on the one in the back that had the root canal done last week. I go back on the 28th to get the permanent crown on that one and hopefully I'll be done with the dentist for a while.

S

Chose your focus

The headache is back. I am refusing to let it run my life today. I went and did the grocery shopping this morning and then I was so tired that I fell asleep at noon and didn't wake up until J called at 2:55 p.m. which was lucky for me since I had to pick Ian up from school at 3 p.m.! I barely made it but the nap helped a bit. I'm still tired and my head is still buzzy but the headache seems to be mostly under control right now.

I had a little inspiration last night that maybe J's grandparents would like it if we got them a Christmas tree and came up and decorated it on Sunday so tonight J and I will go out and pick that up, I think. Mom is here to watch the hooligans so that makes it easier. When I talked with Liliian about it on the phone she was almost choked up that we would do that for them. The thing is that they're both in their *80s* and they're mostly still independent but things like this are hard for them to manage. I offered to make dinner too and so J's parents and J's uncle will be there too. I think it will be a nice little family time together. It's good to keep my mind on other people and helping them instead of wallowing in my own puddle of self pity.

Busy busy busy

Things I've done today:

Cleaned the kitchen
Cleaned both bathrooms
Vacuumed the rug
Did the laundry
Paid the bills
Balanced the accounts
Did some Christmas shopping
Picked up a new uniform shirt for Ian
Washed the kitchen and both bathroom floors
And treated myself to a Peppermint Mocha....

Such a busy day, but that's good because it means no headache! My tooth is still pretty tender but I was able to eat some oatmeal for breakfast and some lasagna for lunch. I'm making spaghetti and Italian sausages for dinner, and hopefully, I'll be able to eat at least the spaghetti.

Ian had a good day at school and was delighted to find a surprise from Lily and I when we picked him up. We got him some of his favorite peppermint cookies from Starbucks for a snack.

Mom and Lily and I visited J's grandma and grandpa yesterday and went out to lunch with them. I couldn't eat anything, really, but I did manage a delicious chocolate milk shake.

Feelings of loss

I got a Christmas gift in the mail yesterday. It was a cookbook from the company I bought Ian's curriculum from this year. The curriculum that I'm not using now because he's going to the local parochial school. I'm not sure why, but I have these unresolved feelings of loss over not schooling him at home. I don't think they are so much related to the actual schooling itself as much as they are representative of a larger issue of mine that has to do with my feelings of inadequacy as a mother.

A friend of mine recently posted on her blog, "If you aren't frustrated with your children, are you really experiencing them?" I"m paraphrasing but that was the gist of it. I had these ideas that I would be so happy all the time to be a mother and that I would truly enjoy my time with my kids and that I wouldn't feel angry/exasperated/frustrated with them and myself most of the time. Being a parent is really hard but I think being a SAHM is the hardest assignment in the lot sometimes. We moved recently and while I'm not exactly isolated overall since J's parents and grandparents and my mom are close by, I am isolated from my peers meaning that I don't actually have any, or at least not any that I know or see on a regular basis or have as a friend. I think I need to work on this issue but overcoming the inertia of the mundane tasks which seem to eclipse anything I might actually like to do is overwhelming. That sounds like an excuse, I know. It's so much easier to mope about it, I guess.

All I want for Christmas is two new teeth

Just got home from the endodontist. The good news is that he was able to save my back tooth that was all diseased in the root. The bad news is that it needs a crown. SO that racks it up to TWO new teeth for me before the year is out. I go back to the regular dentist on Monday to get the permanent crown on the one closer to the front and then they'll fix up a temporary crown on this bad boy. I suppose the bright side is that since I can't eat anything remotely hard or crunchy, I'll probably lose more weight this week. Dental work bites.

In other news, Lily was super good for my mom today. She snuggled up on the sofa with her and watched The Incredibles as I was having my tooth drilled out. So, that was nice for Grammy and her at least.

Today is the feast day for St. Nicholas. We read the story about the Bishop of Myra back in the 4th century and the kids put their shoes out so he could leave them a treat. And then I forgot to do it. DOH! But I recovered quickly and reminded Ian that he had a LOT of places to visit and that the day was not yet over and that maybe he would come while I was dropping him off at school. WHEW! I just made a batch of fudge and I need it to cool fast so I can wrap it up nicely and stick it in his shoe. The things we mothers do for our children.

Tired but better

So sleepy. I'm back on the drugs that keep the migraines at bay but boy am I tired. Still, it beats a headache any day so I'll take what I can get. Yet it leaves me feeling kind of funky overall which is kind of a bummer. I'm hoping in another few days I'll have adjusted enough that it won't bother me anymore.

I just checked my BMI online and only 2 pounds to go to a "healthy" number. That's not where I really want to be but it's a HUGE accomplishment to have lost all this weight. I'm now down 26.5 pounds from July. Hooray!

Tomorrow morning I see the endodontist for this annoying tooth that hurts sometimes and is going to have the permanent crown put on it next week. I'm going to be so glad when this dental work is all done. The anxiety it gives me is just a little too much.

They gray hairs cometh

How could I have forgotten to blog about this? I found them for real. In force. On the top of my head. How could I have missed them in my very dark brown hair? What do I do about it now? Do I commit to coloring to cover them up? I mean, I wouldn't mind being a dignified gray all over, but annoying bits here and there just aren't my style. I won't even be thirty until next month.

Cautiously optimistic

The headache began to abate last night around 5 p.m. It's been twinging on and off but mostly better so far today which is the best I've done since this round started thus I'm cautiously optimistic at the moment.

I reread yesterday's post and was that depressing or what? Sheesh. Time to buck up, little nipper.

The kids were hooligans last night and partied in the bedroom until almost 9 last night. So, nobody wanted to get up this morning and Lily went down for a nap about 10 a.m. That actually worked out really well since Ian has a half day at school and I have to go pick him up at noon. I'm imagining that he'll be in a bit of a crabby funk when he gets home so I kept the last Stargate SG-1 disc from Netflix to bribe some peace out of him this afternoon. We'll see how that goes.

Got on the scale this morning and apparently pain is good for weight loss. I'm down to 142.5 which is another two pound loss. Yipee, I guess. I think that means I'll meet my goal of 140 by Christmas without too much hassle.

Oh and I broke another piece off my back molar yesterday when I was eating chips with the kids. Doh! I've got two more dentist appointments coming up next week so I'll be getting that fixed too. I think I'm putting the dentist's kids through college all by myself.

I'm not too sure what this weekend will hold for us. I think we might go up and have some dinner at J's grandma's house on Sunday. I haven't hear from J's dad to see if he passed his real estate exam on Tuesday which I'm interpreting to mean that he didn't since I'm sure he'd have been too overjoyed to contain himself if he had passed.

God is not dead, nor does he sleep

Are we sure about that? We've had a lot of Christmas music playing lately particularly The Carpenters. By my assessment, they've just about got the Christmas music market cornered. Somehow you just can't beat Karen for the right mix of melancholy and tragedy combined with an almost painful bit of optimism and hope.

These migraines have me way down in the dumps. The dr's office hasn't called me back since yesterday morning and I've left two messages. I haven't heard a word from the neurologist. And yet the headaches keep stomping onward. This is not good for me. It's not good for J and it's not good for the kids. Thankfully, Lily is pretty darn low key when it's just her and I but the minute Ian gets home the siren call of the "chase and scream" game seems to overwhelm them both. I'm sure you can just imagine.

But, back to the logical problem of evil. J and I have had about a million discussions on this topic which is usually brought on by a particularly bad bout of the arthritis or migraines. I can't ever seem to reconcile it and that's really not the point, I suppose. If all the great minds up until now can't manage it either, who am I to try it anyway? Religion always falls short for me on this matter. We need evil for there to be good in the world? Do I have that right? God is good but there is evil anyway? Suffering is necessary for good stuff to happen eventually? The whole thing stinks.

Make it stop

The migraines are back in force and they've brought all their friends for a party in my skull. I saw the dr on Monday and she gave me some Cafergot to try and it helped a bit but I'm hurting again. I alternated Tylenol and Advil and Benadryl yesterday and spent the day on the sofa. I thought I was mostly better but it got worse last night again and this morning is miserable. This is so depressing.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Or maybe not? The kids spent the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. I never even had the chance to miss them. I had migraines 5 days out of the last 7 and J and I were so busy running errands, cleaning carpets and trying to "relax" that I don't think I ever did. Thankfully, I've been headache free today.

Lily is now the proud owner of a "big girl" bed complete with Pepto Bismol pink flannel sheets. She loves it.

We got the tree up and trimmed tonight and the Advent wreath is up on the hearth and lit. We took the kids for a walk to the park and got in a couple of miles. Dinner was reasonably quiet and well mannered and so I should feel relieved and relaxed for the evening. Instead, I'm all upset and freaked out. I have two dentist appointments this week and I have to go to the DMV to get the !#**^$@! car registered.

I think it's the headaches that are the real problem. I feel depressed about them and angry. I feel inadequate and that it's somehow my fault that I get them and seem to be unable to manage them. I just want them to go back wherever they've been for the past 3 months.

One good thing of note this week: I didn't gain any weight over Thanksgiving.

The sanity assassins

It has been a blissful 3 months since Ian started school full time. Little did I realize just HOW blissful it was. Ian has been home for 3 days on Thanksgiving break and I am ready to run away from home. I took them both to the pediatrician today and it was an absolute disaster. Highlights included an entire cup of apple juice getting poured in my shoe and Ian running away and disappearing after Lily had already gotten onto the elevator. Did I mention that Lily has a doctor phobia and screamed for most of the hour we were there? Then, she had 3 shots and screamed the entire 20 minute ride home.

Days like these make me seriously consider whether I actually posses the mental stability to parent these kids. I'm a wreck. I've had migraines two out of the last 3 days and this comes after almost NONE for the past few months. I'm freaked out and worried that I'm going over the edge and that I'll get as sick as I was after I had Ian and be totally incapacitated again. Do I really need antidepressants and heart medicine to manage my stress? I've been off all that stuff for almost 3 months and I just don't want to go back on it. I haven't had a decent walk since Saturday and I think my endorphin levels have bottomed out and my cortisol has skyrocketed. We did manage to get out tonight to Starbucks (which racked up 4 miles of sanity savings) but it was such a meager panacea for my ills that I still want to hide under the bed. It's been constant bickering (at least it seems that way) and I've had flashbacks to my youth and refereeing my brother and sister.

Oh, I forgot the best part. On Monday, I took them shopping since I need to get bedding for Lily's new twin bed. They were fighting and Lily was in the cart and Ian was mocking her from the floor and she reached over to whack him and FELL OUT OF THE CART ON HER HEAD. Yep, that lovely little illustration on the carts means so much more to me now.

But hope is on the horizon. Grandma and Grandpa are taking the kids for the weekend. And we will rise up and call them blessed, let me tell you.

All peopled out

It was a long and busy weekend. Ian had his soccer award night at school on Friday. What a madhouse! Then Saturday, we had his final game of the season and then his team party in the afternoon. Another madhouse. Sunday, we went to church at 8 o'clock mass and lo and behold, there was my *father* in the choir, who I haven't spoken to or seen in 10 years. We ducked out after the Eucharist because my mom was freaking out. Sunday afternoon, we stopped at Winco to pick up some lasagna for dinner and went to visit J's grandparents up in the country. That was a nice way to spend the evening.

I should mention that J and I are both INTJs on the Meyers-Briggs scale and that we just don't *do* large gatherings with many wild children on a regular basis. I think I've had all the people I can take for a few weeks. We were supposed to go to a dinner tonight at church but neither one of us can stand the thought so we're ducking out. That works out well for J since he's planning to work every night this week so he can meet his deadlines at work and still take Thanksgiving and the day after off. But, it leaves me kind of bored. I think I may have to go buy a book.

Ian has the whole week off of school so I picked up a bunch of wooden Christmas ornaments for him to paint. We also have to go buy a tree so that we'll have one to decorate this weekend when we get back. And I have to go buy a mattress for Miss Lily since she's outgrown her little crib mattress. This means I also have to go buy sheets and a comforter and all that stuff.

The mouth owies continue

They got me in but they didn't do anything. First, they thought it was maybe that the crown was too tall so they ground it down some (while I squirmed in discomfort in the chair). No dice. So they did x rays which show that it looks fine. Now, I have to go to the endodontist (who doesn't have any openings until Tuesday at 11) and see about a root canal. I had to ask with urgency about getting some pain meds to get me through until then. I think they think I'm making this up since the xrays look ok, but my mom said she had almost the exact problem in the same spot in her mouth.

Owie owie owie

I thought I had this tooth fixed when they put the temporary crown on it this week. It's been twinging on and off for the last few days but I figured it was just adjusting to the crown or something. I woke up this morning and it's killing me. Thankfully, the dentist can see me at 10 a.m. and my mom can come watch Lily while I do it. I think they're going to have to do the root canal after all.

I just want to cry. I really, really hate going to the dentist and I hate pain and I'm feeling awfully discouraged about all this.

Bad feelings gone

I just measured my waist since I need to buy smaller pants and I've lost 2" in both my waist AND my hips!

Feeling strangely bad

I don't know what is the matter with me today. I am in the funkiest mood. I think I have sunshine deprivation. I spent all morning running errands with Lily and grocery shopping and all that beautiful sunshine out there is going to waste. It's Ian's early day at school so I think we'll be heading to the park for some sun and frolicking later.

Over the river and through the woods

That's where I went today. Mom, Lily and I drove up to the country to visit J's grandma and took her out to lunch. I think we made her week! She was so pleased to have company and to have people to chat with and to see her great grandbaby--Miss Lily.

Ian got busted today at school. Something about walking backwards in line from PE back to his classroom and an additional incident involving his buddy Matt which ended in them both missing out on making Pilgrim hats during art time. If he screws up again this week, he gets kicked out of the Thanksgiving Feast on Friday. After he's done with his homework here tonight, he'll be writing a letter of apology to his teacher. ::sigh:: He can be such a punk. But, we've had near perfect behavior for the last two weeks at school so I knew trouble had to be brewing.

I'm still vaguely sick. Enough to be annoyed about it but not enough to be really down for the count.

Finally, we have the Thanksgiving situation straightened out. The dinner will be at J's grandma's house and we'll all be in attendance. I'm in charge of the pies and mashed potatoes. Yum, my two favorites.

Made it through the dental appt

Whew. The temporary crown is done. I was a wreck. I couldn't sleep last night and I was practically shaking in the dentist's chair. He kept offering me nitrous oxide because he was worried I was so nervous. I was fine once the drilling was done. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't still hate going to the dentist.

I heard from J's grandma today and she sounded so sad and lonely and I'm worried that she's getting sicker again. Tomorrow Mom and Lily and I are going to drive up and see her. It will put my mind at ease to see that she's really OK.

J came home in a good mood and swept me off my feet with an unexpected kiss. It's nice to know that he still feels that way. It will be 12 years of marriage in May. Where does the time go?

Ghost in the machine

We had a ghost from our past materialize out of the Internet ooze. It's left me feeling very vulnerable and unsure of myself. Since that's not a mode I normally operate in, it's uncomfortable to say the least and I think I'm a little bit unhinged today. I suppose nobody likes to revisit dark times from their past especially when they relate to your marriage so I'm vowing (hah!) to make a renewed effort to put it all behind me and out of my mind permanently. We'll see how that actually pans out.

Finally got the right batteries for the scale and it said 147 this morning. Shouldn't that be cheering me up? I made it out for my walk with Lily in the beautiful sunshine we've got pouring down on us here today. It was pretty windy and the leaves were raining down on us and dancing along the sidewalks and parking lots like autumn fairies.

Meanwhile, I am still sick. This nasty hack kept me up (and poor J as well) half the night so I've been groggy all day. I have to go the dentist tomorrow and I'm worried how I'll manage it since I can hardly breathe out of my nose at the moment. I wonder if I should call them? Called them. No dice. Take some cough medicine and come on in! Ah well, it was worth a try.

MIL just called. She offered to drive down and stay with Lily while I go get my crown done. (She likes me! She really likes me!) My mom is already planning on being here since it's her day off so I'm covered, but maybe MIL would like to come down on Friday and take the kids back with her? That plan has some merit. I wonder if Lily will be over her cough and such in time. Thankfully, she's been sleeping the last two nights so J and I are about half human again.

Making the best of it

Despite my being sick, we dragged the kids out to Starbucks and the park and racked up 10k worth of distance today on the jogging strollers and our feet. Ian was possessed by the berserk looney demon and acted like a complete spaz on the entire trip up to Starbucks. J countered him by pretending he was a buzzard attacking from above and they pretty much set the tone for the trip.

After some gingerbread latte goodness on my part and eggnog latte on J's part, we proceeded to the park where the kids happily frolicked for half an hour. Lily was obsessed with the 12 foot slide and managed to make about 10 trips down it all by herself. 'Atta girl! J (oh wait, I mean MARLIN!) was certain she would pitch to her death (or possible dismemberment) at any moment but she was fine. I was even able to lure her peacefully back into the stroller with some candy purchased previously in the day during a shopping trip with Lily while J was at Ian's soccer game.

In all, it was a peaceful 2 1/2 hours of our Saturday afternoon in the post nap, pre dinner lull. You just have to love that California sunshine. Three years in Utah was enough for me. It's only 50 in Provo today.

Sickies unite

Last week I had *3* dentist appointments. I have a broken tooth with a cavity that needs a filling and a cracked tooth that needs a crown. Have I mentioned that I have serious dentist phobia as well? Add to this that I'm sick. Blech.

In addtion, Lily has had croup for a week which involved 3 days straight minus sleep and an ER trip to get her well enough to bring home again. She still isn't sleeping well and has a nasty hack to go along with it every time she lays down. Ian is, thankfully, fine at the moment. As is J. But, I AM NOT. My nose is runny and stuffy and I'm coughing and feeling generally icky. Shouldn't mothers get some kind of "get out of sickness free" card or something? Didn't we earn that with pregnancy and birth? Apparently not.

Being sick and being mommy at the same time bites.

Something worth blogging about

1. I have finally mastered pushing the jogging stroller one handed and drinking from the Starbucks cup with the other at the same time. It is a momentous occasion.

2. I had a happy surprise tonight. My pants have been getting looser, I knew that. This was, at least in part, due to the aforementioned jogging stroller and regular walking. The scale broke this week and I bought the wrong batteries so I couldn't weigh myself. So, I dragged out the tape measure and I have lost *2* inches across my hips. And not two "sucking it in and holding my breath inches" but 2 "breathing normally and holding the tape loosely" inches.

Talk about a banner day.

Been thinking about this for a while

I think I need some catharsis in my life. Maybe this will help?

It's funny how when you're young you have all these clear ideas about what you want to do and what you plan to accomplish and who you are. Then one day you wake up and everything is different than you thought it would be. Not bad, necessarily, just not neatly lined up according to that "plan" you had.

I stop to think about where I am and how I got here and it seems like I'm not even sure how I ended up here. I have a great husband and a nice family. I have two kids (a boy and a girl--how DID I manage that?) who seem to actually like each other and me fairly well.

I was pondering the other day the fact that the number of people that I know who are in happy marriages seems to be vastly outnumbered by the number of those who aren't. Even J's parents spent most of their lives in an uneasy truce. I guess J and I have been awfully fortunate. It seems sort of out of fashion to like the person you're married to lately.

Just got a phone call from my MIL. She's wanting to brave her "driving on the freeway" fear to come down and spend time with the grandkids. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Never in a million years would I have expected that. I mean, I think she has a real phobia of the freeway. It was a nice surprise even if it doesn't end up panning out.