More on numbers

I met with the nurse practitioner for my official health assessment today. 

As it happens, I am not 5'3" as I have thought I was since probably high school. I am actually 5'4.5" tall. Ordinarily, this would be a semi useless bit of trivia. However, it has a significant bearing on height/weight charts such as the Body Mass Index. Significant enough for me to be bumped out of the Obese category. I don't know whether to feel aggravated or relieved. I guess it's both. 

It was not significant enough to get me off the hook with the weight loss for the breast reduction surgery. So, there is that issue to deal with either way. Still it was nice to know that my self perception isn't completely skewed and crazy. 

At this point a weight loss of only 26 pounds would put me into the healthy weight zone. I can live with that. 57 pounds was a whole different situation. Granted, that number would still keep me from falling off into underweight zone but not by much. 

We talked about my overall health given the RA and my headache issues. And my fitness and daily habits for eating. I'm doing everything I can correctly according to the NP and historically, it's always worked for me. The one issue she mentioned that might be making things harder is one of the medications that keeps my headaches in check. Apparently, it can really increase cravings for carbs and high calorie, nutrient deficient ones are at the top of my guilty pleasure list. 

She felt like the program would be very successful for me given my normal habits and propensity for tracking and graphing progress of everything. And she mentioned that although I probably will have less to lose than others in my group, it's often helpful to be an example for others. On the one hand, that's a nice sentiment but on the other hand I still feel kind of weird about the whole thing. She stressed that the diet would help me get reset to my goal and that my habits and the things learned in the 82 week program would help me manage it from that point onward. 

Now it's about making the decision to do it or not. And the money. This program is not cheap.  They estimate that a normal family environment spends about $117 per person per week on food. I feed a family of four (including the bottomless pit 13 year old boy) for about $135 per week. Granted, I make almost everything from scratch. But on the program, they estimate $90/week for just me compared to the $30ish I spend now. And that is before you add in the monthly fees and medical monitoring costs. 

I'm torn. Part of me feels like its a ridiculous expenditure. Part of me feels like if I can just get back to where I need to be, I can handle it from there. All of my doctors are in favor of it. The family is completely supportive of me either way. J's comment was, "What would be a better way to invest in than myself?"

Am I a number?

30

57

Are these numbers a representation of me?

30 is what the BMI (body mass index) says I am. Obese to put it bluntly. 

57 is how many pounds I need to lose to be smack dab in the middle of the heathy weight for the BMI. 

I'm not sure they really represent me. I'll agree that I'm not skinny. As far as body image is concerned, I'm in a good place. I'm stronger than I used to be and faster. 169 pounds feels ok. I run and bike and hike with the kids. I don't feel unhealthy. I mean, yes, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. And without the miracle drugs, I wouldn't be able to even walk. But, overall I think I'm managing it all right. The only big issue is the shoulder and back pain from my overly busty chest. That is the reason I'm going through this process. 

BMI doesn't address fitness. It's strictly a numbers game that evaluates your weight in regard to your height. It can't tell you that I run 10 + miles a week or that I'm perfectly capable of biking another 22 miles a week. I'm proud of those numbers. I had to do some serious fighting to get there. BMI says I'm too heavy to qualify for surgery to address this shoulder/back/chest issue. 9 pounds too heavy at the moment. Personally, the BMI thing feels like a scammy slap in the head. But, you have to do what you have to do, right?

So I'm going to do this. Both the doctor in charge (who is a runner himself) and the program manager have assured me that the Kaiser program will enable me to keep up the running and biking and lose weight at the same time. I haven't had much success with that on my own. A net loss of 3 pounds is what I've managed since February. 

I'm anxious to hurry up and get to July 31 and get started. I'm nervous, though. In the orientation class, I was the smallest person in the room. I felt conspicuous and out of place.  Lots of people appeared to be pretty sedentary and to have more than a hundred pounds to lose. I'm worried that I'll be taken less seriously because of that. And I'm worried that I'll be successful and lose it but fall back into bad habits and gain it back again. That would be beyond frustrating. 

I know my joints will thank me. And my back and shoulders will thank me, too. So, this is it. Here I go. 

Testing, testing.

I spent yesterday morning at the Kaiser lab for my fasting blood tests. 

This morning, I had a date with the EKG department. 

All of this is in preparation for my meeting with the nurse practitioner on Thursday to make sure there are no hidden health issues going on. 

I'm approved to start the Kaiser Medically Managed Weight Loss Program. If you want more information, http://www.kphealthyweight.com/

The program technically starts on 7/31 which will be my first meeting with my group.  

It's been a while, eh?

I've been remiss in my duties around here since Lent has been over. 

Lots of things have been afoot. 

Thing one:

Having had enough of the shoulder and neck pain, I finally contacted my doctors about an appropriate remedy. I was dolefully informed that, no, physical therapy would be of no use. The only solution is a round of breast reduction surgery.

Thing two:

I would only qualify for the surgery to be covered if I was below a specific weight. According to Kaiser, that was 12 pounds down from my weight at that time. I also found out that my BMI was a tad over 30 putting me into the Obese category. 

Thing three:

I tried to lose it. I tracked every thing that went into my mouth. I upped my running to 9 miles a week. The kids and I added another 22 miles of biking in each week. I lost 2 pounds. Gained 3 back. Lost 3 again. 

Thing four:

I browbeat (but in a nice way) my doctor into a bevy of tests to be absolutely certain there was no underlying issue creating havoc for me. 

Thing five:

I attended the orientation for the Kaiser Medically Managed Weight Loss Program. 

Thing six:

I'm meeting with the nurse practitioner next week to start the program. 

Here's my before: