About the ketchup burst

Today was one of those days. I had one of those little breakdowns that I have every so often.

I had tried cutting my medication back per the dr's instructions they day before yesterday. That meant that I didn't take my evening dose. By morning, my head was aching all over again which meant yesterday involved trying to beat the headache back into submission. It bothered me off and on but I felt mostly ok physically when I woke up today.

Of course, J and I stayed up too late last night and the kids woke up at six a. m. whining and demanding breakfast. Have I mentioned how much I detest being awakened by a small person poking at me? It's one of those instant angry type of things where I just want to scream "LEAVE ME ALONE" and shove them out of the room and slam the door. It's not exactly the type of thing to make me mother of the year, but there you have it. It just ruins the morning for me. This lovely wakeup call coupled with the aforementioned medication/headache snafu just pushed me over the edge. I can't remember what J asked me or said, but it was something completely innocuous. And there I was, a sobbing mess over what was probably nothing at all. These headaches make me so angry. I know that I can't do anything about them and being victimized by my body and it's issues seems to percolate this angry and helpless emotion that seizes me once in a while. Truthfully, I did feel better after some tears and sobbing. J is good at helping me know that he loves me regardless of how broken I may be.

I took a shower and we all got ready and went for a long walk to Starbucks, to the post office, to the park. We came home in time for lunch and went out into the yard to work. We managed to get the flowering quince cut down that was killing the two trees on either side of it. And we got a lot of the ivy torn out that needed to be cleared. There is still more work to do but we made a lot of progress.