Halloween goodness!

Lily gets it this year. The getting candy part. She was hilarious with the trick or treating.

We're all watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. There are large bags of candy on the counter just waiting for the "parent tax" to be assessed.

Life is good.

Cracking me up

Picture Lily, in the tub, playing with her Hello Kitty bath toys. She's walking them down her leg when she suddenly lets go and they sink to the bottom. Turning to me, she deadpans, "Oh. The kitties are drowned."

Maybe you had to be there...

Overheard at Costco today

Me: Another baby would be so sweet and cute. Can't we have another one?

DH: No.

Me: Can I have an iPod instead?

DH: Yes.

(Editor's Note: I didn't get an iPod. I bought a new North Face vest and jacket and ear warmers instead.)

Good times, good times

My brother flew in from North Carolina to surprize the kids for their birthdays. Ian turns seven today and Lily turns three on Thursday. They were so surprised. :)

We had a nice party for them with all the family on Saturday and TWO cakes! We decorated Lily's side of the dining room with Hello Kitty and Ian's side was Star Wars. My brother did the decorations and they turned out really well. It was wonderful to have a full house of family.

So, it's been busy busy busy around here for the last bit. Mom and I almost blew the surprise several times by slipping up in front of the kids but they never caught on. I can't believe that we've known since September and managed to keep it quiet. Ray will be here all day tomorrow and then he leaves on the morning of Halloween. I think that will be for the best since it will keep Ian distracted.

We're off to the parish Halloween festival tonight. How funny is that?

Out of the mouths of babes

Overheard in the car on the way to REI today:

"Lily! You can't see germs because they're *MICROSCOPIC*!"

Doing the new fridge dance

J and I finally committed and bought a new refrigerator today. Woo HOO!

The one we have is 16 years old and the water and ice dispenser is broken and one of the shelves just bit the dust this week. It's started making strange and disturbing noises on occasion, as well. So I've done weeks of research and narrowed it down to two models, a side-by-side (which is what we've always had) and a new french door model. Ultimately, we went with the Kenmore Elite Trio with the water dispenser in the door but the ice in the freezer since none of us use ice much anyway. I was a little concerned about losing freezer space but then I noticed that if we need more, you can get a 5 cu. ft. one for $160. I don't think it's really an issue, though.

Interestingly, I was doing some math last night. I cook just about all our meals here at home. If we go out for dinner, we usually end up spending at least $25 or so. Multiply that out by 52 weeks. Voila! There's the money to pay for the new fridge. See, math *is* useful.

Blond haired, blue eyed devil

That's our Lily. I forgot how wretched age three is with kids. Ian was a nightmare at this age and Lily is quickly morphing into a biting, screaming, tantruming, rude little beastie. She's so cute and so evil. She and Ian are devoted to each other and they bicker as though they are the same age. I'm glad they adore each other, though. My brother and I are that way, too.

Poor Ian is sick and feverish. He came home from school yesterday feeling crummy. He briefly perked up this morning but I can see him wilting on the sofa now while watching Star Wars.

Time to head back out to the ivy jungle in the backyard and do some work.

One more load

That's all I have left. I'll be officially caught up on laundry. Sign me up for that Domestic Goddess crown, will ya? I should have made brownies for the washing machine man.

It's fixed!

It works! It works! It works!!!!!

The washing machine man

He's supposed to be here today, sometime between 8 a.m. and 12 p.m. It's 9:10 a.m. now and there's nary a sight of him. If he manages to get this washer fixed today, he will be my favorite person in the whole world. I have somewhere near *8* loads of laundry to do. I have a backup plan, but I'm hoping not to have to use it. It's getting to be a serious drag, schlepping all this dirty laundry around.

Hurry, washing machine man!

The potty train has crashed

I am ready to let this kid go to college in Pampers. I'm not interested in changing *any* more pairs of smeared, stinking underwear. The odd thing is that she was fine the first few days. It's making me nuts, especially coupled with the lack of sleep.

I would like it noted that I managed to make it through the day today sans a nap. I'm feeling about ready to pass out now. Adding insult to injury, we don't have any new Netflix to watch tonight.

So. Very. Tired.

Strange sleeping issues

I'm intermittently having a sleep issue. I'll be ok for 2-3 days and then suddenly, I'll start waking up at three a.m. Nobody should have to see that time on a clock. Really. It's just awful. Then, I end up sleepy and out of sorts all day. It's not a pretty combination.

Yawn.

You know it was a bad dream when

It bugs you all day long. I woke up at some unholy hour from it and I guess I never really got back to sleep. Thus, it's been a funky day. I did manage to get my walk in and the house vacuumed so it wasn't a total waste but I fell asleep while Lily and I were hanging out this afternoon.

Did I mention that I forgot to make sure we had chicken when I put it on the menu for tonight? Yup. No chicken. Such a dork. Instead, we'll be having a delicious supper of tuna sandwiches. It's gourmet night, couldn't you tell?

Other interesting news from the recent past: I am the proud owner of an alarm clock and it plays NPR! There's nothing like waking up to a story about the political woes of the banana king versus the firebrand for leadership in Ecuador.

I managed for *many* years without one at all. In fact, I'm not even sure when I had one last. I think it must have been when we were living in Vancouver when I was still working. That puts it at over 8 years ago since it was definitely pre-Ian. Alas, I tired of waking up at night and never having any idea what time it was or whether I should just get up or try and go back to sleep.

Things I neglected to mention

The bed broke when J sat down on it. Funny if you were me instead of J. It took 3 bolts to fix it. All done now.

I'm down a size after working my butt off (literally) all summer. It was nice to buy smaller pants last week.

There's a big birthday surprise for the kids this year. I can't say what it is since they don't know yet. It's getting harder to not spill the beans every day.

Oh and the washing machine broke. It's been almost 10 days without the washer. They're supposed to be back on Wednesday with the parts to fix it. I certainly hope so. I don't think I can take hauling laundry to my MIL's house anymore. Not when Lily is in the middle of potty training.

The sound of silence

It's an amazing thing. The kids have been at Grandma's for two days. I can't believe the stillness in our house. It's never this quiet, not even when they are asleep.

Today was a busy day. J needed a haircut, the collapsed bed needed fixing, a walk needed to happen and we went out for dinner. And I had to dump out the contents of the kitchen trash can to fish for the lost spring that makes the flippy top do it's flippy thing. I wore gloves, the melon rinds had been in there a while.

Note to self: Chevy's enchiladas suck. They tasted like lasagna made with tortillas. Blech. I should have gone with the ribs (which are my favorite) but I cheaped out at the last minute. The beans and rice and chips and salsa were great.

Additionally note to self: Do not watch Roger and Me by Michael Moore on a night where the house will be quiet and give you time to think. It's too depressing. Battlestar Galactica is a much better choice. I am such a BG junkie now.

About what I said earlier

Yeah, just disregard all that. The natives were restless tonight. But, they are with grandma and grandpa for the weekend!

Conflicted

I just found out that two friends of mine are pregnant with their third children. All my (misplaced, I suppose) baby longings are in full swing. There are so many rational reasons *not* to have another baby. My health, needing a bigger car, future school expenses, my health, J's sanity, Lily's terrible threeness, my health, etc. Somehow none of that seems to really stack up against those baby pangs.

Did I mention Lily is potty training? For the first time in seven years, I won't need to carry a diaper bag soon. I won't need my baby carriers or the crib up at J's parent's house. She seems so big all of a sudden (aside from the fact that she *is* Amazongirl) and grown up. She's the same age Ian was when we were trying for her.

Am I insane to even mentally contemplate this?

The birthday bash week is fast approaching. Lily will be three on November 2nd and Ian will be seven on October 29th. Maybe we could squeeze in a Halloween baby in between them, eh? It must be the happy pills talking.

6 hours of cleaning later...

J was in the same state I was with my inflammatory post about J's parents and the church and the grandparents. I, however, am feeling quite reasonable about the whole situation now.

My mom came up with us on Saturday and she sat and chatted with J's grandma while J and I scrubbed floors and bathrooms and vacuumed and cleaned the upstairs carpets and washed windows. And really it was more like 12 hours of cleaning since it was both of us working full tilt for hours. It was a serious day of work.

I am now convinced that I will NEVER want a house bigger than our cute little 1200 sq. ft., 3 bed, 2 bath ranch that we're renting. I think I literally blocked out of my mind how long it takes to keep a 3000 sq. ft. house clean. I mean, we never had more than 2000 or so sq. ft. personally, but holy cow! The good news is that it's mostly cleaned up now and J's grandparents are very pleased.

J and my mom had an interesting viewpoint on my time spent up there every week. They said that perhaps no one else was stepping up to the plate because I'm there. Then again, SOMEBODY needs to be. When I was up there Wednesday, J's grandad's blood pressure was really low and he had been on the phone with the doctor and I was worried about leaving them at all. Mom also had a good suggestion regarding the laundry situation. Our little frontloader, AIO machine is sitting at J's parent's house right now. I'm going to ask J's grandma if she'd like us to bring it over so she won't have to try to manage the stairs.

Calmer now

I think part of what set me off today was that a friend connected the new Sacramento Temple's Rancho Cordova address with ours. She asked me to go see it for her. This, coupled with my MILs insistent invitations and the general "you're a reactivation project" vibe, I think has rubbed me a bit raw. Not that my friend would have ever intended it that way. I know she never would do that.

But, still the temple experience was a bit too "emperor's new clothes" and that has stuck with me for the past several years. Somehow, the temple also cemented itself in my head as an iconic image of the exclusivity in attendance and barrier between it's members and non-member relatives.

My secret religious views smack of anger and discontent and disillusionment with established religions in general. I don't think that religion is here for God. I think that it's here for us to find our way back and that different roads lead to that same place and that our differences (and similarities) are what shapes the path we choose. Whenever I heat the "God is bound by these laws" stuff, I'm always amazed that an omnipotent being would be so preoccupied about the details.

I guess I'm not cut out for this religion stuff.

I just want to scream

Every Wednesday, I drive an hour to spend the day with J's grandparents. The kids come with and generally have a great time. We drive another hour home and usually get back just in time to make dinner before J gets home.

I love J's grandparents and they need company badly. They are both over 80 and J's grandma is nearly blind and J's grandad can hardly make it up the stairs because he's so winded from his emphysema. Every week, I bring them some kind of baked yummy and I make lunch for everyone. It's an amazing opportunity that Ian and Lily have to spend time with them and it's really important to me that we do it.

The last few weeks, I've been noticing a downward trend in both of them. They're having a very difficult time keeping up with the house work and meals and it's worrying to me. Of course, I'm the only person who would notice since I'm the only person who visits them. Nevermind the fact that one of their sons lives the next driveway down and J's dad is 20 minutes away. I won't even get into that can of worms. It makes my blood pressure skyrocket just thinking about it. The thing that worries me most is that they feel abandoned but they're too proud to ask for the help that isn't being offered.

They joined the LDS church a year or so after J's parents joined and they all attend the same ward. J's dad is the executive secretary and J's mom teaches in primary. Every single minute that doesn't go towards work goes to the church. They share the same bishop, yet this problem continues on unaddressed. It makes me so angry to see that and to know how much it's hurting J's grandparents. J and I felt that we had to make a choice between leaving the church and serving our families. At every turn, we faced this kind of problem in Utah and we knew that it wouldn't be any better if we kept with it here. People SAY that the church is all about family but the personal nature of this and the experiences that we've gone through ourselves says something very different. I'm sure that this problem exists in every church but my experience is limited to Catholicism and the LDS church.

I have to stop now and tell J about it.