I just want to scream

Every Wednesday, I drive an hour to spend the day with J's grandparents. The kids come with and generally have a great time. We drive another hour home and usually get back just in time to make dinner before J gets home.

I love J's grandparents and they need company badly. They are both over 80 and J's grandma is nearly blind and J's grandad can hardly make it up the stairs because he's so winded from his emphysema. Every week, I bring them some kind of baked yummy and I make lunch for everyone. It's an amazing opportunity that Ian and Lily have to spend time with them and it's really important to me that we do it.

The last few weeks, I've been noticing a downward trend in both of them. They're having a very difficult time keeping up with the house work and meals and it's worrying to me. Of course, I'm the only person who would notice since I'm the only person who visits them. Nevermind the fact that one of their sons lives the next driveway down and J's dad is 20 minutes away. I won't even get into that can of worms. It makes my blood pressure skyrocket just thinking about it. The thing that worries me most is that they feel abandoned but they're too proud to ask for the help that isn't being offered.

They joined the LDS church a year or so after J's parents joined and they all attend the same ward. J's dad is the executive secretary and J's mom teaches in primary. Every single minute that doesn't go towards work goes to the church. They share the same bishop, yet this problem continues on unaddressed. It makes me so angry to see that and to know how much it's hurting J's grandparents. J and I felt that we had to make a choice between leaving the church and serving our families. At every turn, we faced this kind of problem in Utah and we knew that it wouldn't be any better if we kept with it here. People SAY that the church is all about family but the personal nature of this and the experiences that we've gone through ourselves says something very different. I'm sure that this problem exists in every church but my experience is limited to Catholicism and the LDS church.

I have to stop now and tell J about it.